Have you concluded a healthy lifestyle is not for you? Or, struggled with healthy food choices everyday? Today’s guest post is by Hope Shete. She’s just Your Your Ordinary Girl, kind of like you, kind of like me.

MY FAILED ATTEMPT TO LIVE A HEALTHY LIFE.

It’s a beautiful day, how is everyone in here? How’s kicks? How cool is that greeting, how’s kicks? Lol! Anyway, it smells healthy around here, all of you seem like the type who have a vegetable smoothie for breakfast, I find that disturbingly healthy but anything for a healthier life, right?

Time for a serious talk! You see I have never been the type to take healthy living seriously; I eat everything even if it has a health warning on it. I mean stuff that has some really crazy ingredients, the ones you really can’t pronounce. So when I met Nicole, (not in person) and how she talked about those complicated ingredients like they were some cool toys, I knew this is the place to be.

Down to more serious talk, this time for real. When I grow up, I will write about the Debonairs Pizza, the ‘three decker’ one. That pizza will make you go against every principal you stand for in life, it will make you cheat on your wife/girlfriend, not in that way, I can explain. You know how you agree with your better half to lead a more healthy life by avoiding junk like pizza? Once you get into a relationship with that pizza it’s till death do us part. God, that pizza is great, if I start describing it I won’t do it any justice, let me leave it at that.  I have heard my fair share of trying to live a healthy life courtesy of my mum but it didn’t last long. So at the beginning of this year, I had gained some weight, it was scary, I felt heavy. You know after all the holiday eating, feasting and laying down; I had definitely put on some weight. So one day I am curled up on the coach feeling guilty about my weight but doing nothing about it, my mum came and sat next to me. I hate it when she does that because then I know we are about to have a really uncomfortable talk followed by promises I’m never going to keep. “You really should do something about the belly fat, your lower tummy (shakes head)”. I look at her and she’s holding some healthy living book. Then I knew we will be there for a while. In my defense my tummy wasn’t that big, it was just her way of getting me to eat her healthy recipes, but as the African proverb goes “what an elder can see while sitting down a young person cannot see even when on top of a tree”. So, just like that she recruited me into a healthy eating program. It is at that time that you realize everything you have been eating was unhealthy, everything! And you are somehow suffering from some odd diseases Google told you because you have a little too much of rabbit meat in your system. You freak out and decide that mum’s health program is not such a bad idea after all, but a teenage girl can only eat too much whole grains and tubers (yams and potatoes).

I wake up in the morning and there are all these green vegetables I see in movies on the table. A mixture of celery, garlic, tomatoes and onions, beside it is a bowl of fruits then there’s tea with two slices of brown bread. I spent my nights asking God what I did to punish me with a bowl of celery in the morning. I hated the taste of celery, just in case you are wondering, I felt it tasted like tree bark. It was the same as eating grass to me, for a moment I thought of King Nebuchadnezzar. My Christian friends you remember that king in the Bible who ate grass for 7years? Yes that one, my breakfast felt like seven years, no kidding. I won’t mention my lunch and supper, which is a story for another day. I wondered why my mum would turn her back on good food like burgers, chapatis (great Kenyan delicacy) and fries. Gone were the days where God would punish me by sending a guy in saggy jeans my way. Anyway to cut a long story short I survived the storm but the whole eating healthy thing was great, my bathroom breaks were, let’s just say more fulfilling. No constipation, there were some days my belly would swell and I could swear I had a mini-me inside there but big question was who was the father not unless it’s Jesus but I ruled out that option quickly because it freaked me out. Mama says it’s gas but I have it a lot, it’s uncomfortable and annoying-any insights on that Nicole?

One thing though, I noticed during my one…two months of eating healthy, I was moody, easily irritable. Everybody around me seemed to be annoying; I didn’t want to be around people. I think it was some sort of withdrawal symptoms. I don’t understand why they did not include that part in their ‘Health Power’ book but it was a good thing because all people talked about was some delicious burger they ate or how they had beacon for breakfast. I enrolled in a gym just across the street from where I stay but won’t talk about it because it’s just another thing that I failed at in life. Am in pretty good shape though, thanks to all the fieldwork and walking around campus. I went back to my old habits, old habits die hard, and it is not my fault that whenever I am hungry the nearest food joint or restaurant serves poor food. One thing I am working on though is my pizza intake, I just take a slice, maybe two or three depending on the occasion. These days I walk into a pizza joint and I order a plate of self-control which they normally don’t have, so I go for the next best thing. I feel like nature is working against me, I am trying to be healthy but God has a different plan. Wow, that was quite some writing, now if you will excuse me I have to pee.

P.S Once in a while I eat healthy food, am real healthy food, but I just can’t follow through.

P.P.S I still have the Health Power to I consult whenever I crave something not healthy so bad but still want to know its nutritious value, so I can argue my point well when someone questions my choice of food.

Sending lots of love your way.

Yours truly,

Hope

 

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